Thoughts I Have

Humor

Santorum’s Gay Sex Problem


Posted on Advocate.com February 16, 2011
Santorum’s Gay Sex Problem
Antigay former U.S. senator Rick Santorum, a potential 2012 Republican presidential candidate, has found the use of his name in connection with anal sex is a hyperlink that’s hard to break… thanks to Dan Savage.
By Advocate.com Editors

– (from left) Rick Santorum and Dan Savage

Antigay former U.S. senator Rick Santorum, a potential 2012 Republican presidential candidate, has found that the use of his name in connection with anal sex is a hyperlink that’s hard to break, Roll Call reports.

In 2003 sex-advice columnist Dan Savage was seeking to mock Santorum for his homophobic statements, such as remarks he made in an interview that year to the effect that legalization of gay sex could lead to recognition of “man on child” and “man on dog” relationships. Savage held a competition asking his readers to come up with a new definition for “Santorum,” and the winning entry referred to a by-product of anal intercourse. Now a Google search for “Santorum” will frequently turn up that meaning of the word.

Roll Call consulted technology experts, who said there was little Santorum could do to prevent Web searches from finding sites with that definition. The politician himself “sounded slightly defeated” when asked about his “Google problem” recently, the publication reported. “It’s one guy,” Santorum told Roll Call. “You know who it is. The Internet allows for this type of vulgarity to circulate. It’s unfortunate that we have someone who obviously has some issues. But he has an opportunity to speak.”

Santorum added, however, that the phenomenon is an indication of “incivility” in politics. “You want to talk about incivility,” he said. “I don’t know of anybody on the left who came to my defense for the incivility with respect to those things.”

In response to Santorum’s statements, Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund spokesman Dennis Dison told Roll Call, “I think that civility in politics is a fantastic goal. … Speaking from the LGBT community, we wish he would practice it.”

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Running With Santas In Speedos


Posted on Advocate.com December 14, 2010
Running With Santas in Speedos
By Advocate.com Editors
Minimages.com
BOSTON Santa Speedo Run 2010

Speedo-wearing Santas ran the streets of Boston, Toronto, Chicago, and Atlanta over the weekend to raise money for various charities.

The event kicked off in Boston 11 years ago and has since spread to multiple cities throughout the United States and Canada. Included in the list of charities the runs raise money for are a number of LGBT and HIV/AIDS research organizations.

Watch video from the runs below.


A Cajun Walks Into A Bar


Got this in an email today and it made me laugh.

A Cajun named ‘Martin’ walks into a gay bar with
A pet alligator by his side.

He puts the alligator up on the bar.
He turns to the astonished patrons.

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open
This alligator’s mouth and
place my manhood inside.

Then, the gator will close
his mouth for one minute.

Then, he’ll open his mouth and I’ll
remove my unit unscathed. In return
for witnessing this spectacle, each of
you will buy me a drink.”

The crowd murmured their approval.

The man stood up on the bar, dropped
his trousers, and placed his Johnson
and related parts in the alligator’s open
mouth. The gator closed his mouth as
the crowd gasped. After a minute,
the man grabbed a beer  bottle and
smacked the alligator hard on the top
of its head.

The gator opened his mouth and the man
removed his genitals unscathed as promised.

The crowd cheered, and the first of his free
drinks were delivered.

The man stood up again and made another offer… “I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try..”

A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.

A blond guy timidly spoke up… “I’ll try it. Just don’t
hit me so hard with the beer bottle!”


National Sexball League


I’ve always loved ‘Jocks’ even though they don’t always love me back, lol.

I have fantasized about so many of them. One fantasy plays out like a football game. More like Australian Rules Football or Rugby than American Football and they guys wear very little in the way of uniforms. Maybe just a loincloth would do the job.

The object would be to ‘outscore’ your opponent on the field of play. The reward would be something very special indeed. After the final whistle blows and the victor is crowned a special post-game show would take place center field. All the action would be shown on the enormous HD screens with close-ups and slow-motion replays.

The show would start with showers where the losers lather up, rinse and towel dry the victors. Once the victors are freshly bathed the losers clean themselves, too. Next up, the heroes are given deep tissue massages with scented oils by the fallen ones. You can guess what’s coming up next, yes?

That’s right – a round of unbridled lustful sex where the winning team is ‘pleasured’ by the losing team. Each hero is serviced by each loser in turns. Then the domination begins. Heroes take turns plowing the losers as forcefully as they like and for as long as it takes.

It’s not all bad for the losers, they are given release as well. After the heroes are finished with them they service then dominate each other until everyone gets their ‘happy ending’.

Of course, while this show is taking place center field the crowd is free to carry on with each other in the stands. Every body leaves the stadium physically spent and with smiles on their faces – eager for the next game!

There is a theory that an infinite number of universes exist and that every possible scenario actually does happen in one universe or another. So I’m thinking my imaginary N.S.L. (National Sexball League) actually exists somewhere and one of my other selves just left a NSL game with a smile on his face!


Vegas ‘Death Ray’


Swanky New Vegas Hotel’s ‘Death Ray’ Proves Inconvenient For Some Guests
By Brett Michael Dykes
YahooNews September 29 2010 12:00pm

And here you thought bedbugs were the biggest source of anxiety for hotel guests.

Yes, guests at Vdara hotel in Las Vegas now have something else to worry about: being burned alive by the glare of the building’s “death ray.”

What the heck’s a “death ray,” you ask? Well, first off, it’s not as deadly as it sounds, since no one has actually died from it — at least not yet. But according to the U.K. Daily Mail, the powerful beams of Nevada sunlight reflecting off the glass hotel onto sections of the hotel’s swimming pool area have burned some guests and have melted plastic bags.

The building’s concave design creates a sort of magnifying-glass effect. The hotel’s designers reportedly anticipated that ill-situated humans might experience some discomfort courtesy of the building’s blinding glare, so they placed a film over the glass panes of its many windows. Obviously that didn’t quite do the trick. So for now the hotel is placing larger umbrellas in the pool area while designers try to come up with another remedy.

According to the Las Vegas Review-Journal, the hotel’s employees coined the term “death ray” to describe the intense reflection. Reports of the glare have also enhanced the hotel’s public profile, though almost certainly not in the way its owners would like; Yahoo! searches for Vdara have spiked by nearly 19,000 percent in the past 24 hours.

It turns out that Vdara isn’t the only building out there creating intense heat and glare for hapless passersby. Gordon Absher, a spokesman for MGM Resorts International, which owns Vdara, told the Review-Journal that in Las Vegas, the AdventureDome at Circus Circus and the Mandalay Bay produce “hot spots” that some guests have actually sought out, believing the spots will aid tanning regimens. In Los Angeles, the Frank Gehry-designed Walt Disney Concert Hall produced such a harsh glare that it heated nearby homes, forcing residents to blast their air conditioners high above their customary capacities in order for the residents to keep cool.

Bill Pintas, a Chicago attorney, told the Daily Mail that he experienced the harsh glare of the death ray firsthand during a recent Vdara stay. Pintas reported that as he lounged out by the pool, his head suffered a sensation he likened to a “chemical burn.” He added, “Within 30 seconds, the back of my legs were burning.”

In another interview, Pintas said: “I was effectively being cooked.” Thankfully, he returned home alive. Still, his skin was burned and his hair was singed — disproving the old saying that whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.


Reasons To Watch Survivor: Nicaragua This Season


Chase Rice, 24, is a “Jackman” on a NASCAR pit crew and he is one of the contestants on Survivor: Nicaragua this season. We watched the premier last night during which he stripped down to his boxer-briefs and the network had to blur the image of his ‘package’ for the faint of heart, lol.

He is such a gorgeous hunk I just had to share the pics I found. He is reason enough to watch the show this season – hope he goes all the way – and I hope he wins the show, too.


Murder At WalMart


MURDER AT WALMART

Tired of constantly
being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided
to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife
with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

A ‘friend of a friend’
put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by
the
name of ‘Artie.’ Artie explained to the husband that his going price for
snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The
husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn’t have
any
cash on hand until he could collect his wife’s insurance money. Artie
insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened
his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the
dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few
days later, Artie followed the man’s wife to the local Super Wal-Mart
store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded
to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman
drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce
department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to
leave any living witnesses behind, ol’ Artie had no choice but to
strangle the produce manager as well.

However,
unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden
security
cameras & observed by the store’s security guard, who immediately
called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave
the store.
Under intense
questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan,
including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband
who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the
newspaper, the headline declared…

(You’re
going to hate me for this…)

‘ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!’