(Just a photo of a gay couple I found on the web)
I was talking with a friend about patience when finding the right person to share your life with. After I wrote this particular email I decided it was good enough to post as a blog here:
You know, I didn’t meet ******* until I was 27 (he was 20).
I don’t think I would have been ready to recognize what he meant to me before that day. Like you, I had spent years wondering why I could never find the person I was looking for. I think it was ‘because’ I was looking too hard.
From my perspective now, years later, it is obvious my own insecurities about finding the one and to have him feel the same way about me were adding negative energy to my “aura” or whatever you want to call it. I don’t believe that is why I had not met him before that time – I think it just wasn’t time for us to meet until the moment we did. I had matured a great deal by 27. I was ready to accept the responsibility of a LTR. He was still very young and had a ways to go to get to that point. He had an advantage I never had – he had me, lol.
In every relationship each partner has a role to play. My role was to be the mature one who could hold us together through the tough times. His role was to be a risk taker and to keep our lives interesting. We had some trials by fire in the beginning. We could be very angry with each other over trivial things and important ones, too. Through it all, we loved each other. Sometimes love isn’t enough. Sometimes you need commitment to work through problems. I had the commitment and love enough for both of us. He was so young and needed time to grow into the maturity I had already found.
To this day we play the same roles. He keeps life interesting and I remain steady like the Rock of Gibraltar. I can’t imagine my life without him in it.
Our partnership isn’t perfect. No one’s is perfect. There is give and take. Sometimes I give more and he takes more and vice versa. Learning to accept the yin yang nature of it is the key.
When the day comes and you are face to face with ‘him’ don’t let it slip away. Don’t be afraid to take a risk. Put yourself out there and see what happens. If he is half the man you are then you will have a good one. Remember what I said about maturity being on your side. You must be willing to let him f**k up and still be committed to him. Never issue ultimatums that you will regret later. One partner must always be willing to compromise in order to keep the love alive. I can tell you are the one that will be willing to make such concessions – just like me.
I have a lot of advice, don’t I? I should write an advice column. (rofl)
I just re-read what I’ve written and it sounds pretty good. I think I’ll dress it up a little more and post in on my blog – it’s good advice if I do say so myself.
I love you a lot my friend and I hope your dreams come true.