When I think about the division between Gay men and those who wish they didn’t exist my mind always turns to religion as the root of this bias. I’m not so sure that is the case. There is no way to determine scientifically how it came to be. So my opinion is as valid as anyone’s.
It has been said that “Everyone is gay”. That may be true and if it is then that may be the reason so many are against us. I have many straight relatives and friends who are completely comfortable with my sexuality and those who are like me. I’ve spoken with some of them about this and often times I’ve been told by them “I wish I were as brave as you” referring to my openness. One of my brothers who is a few years older and has always been very athletic, outdoorsy and good in a fist fight (lol) has always said he admired my courage. A friend from grade school who is married with children has said (privately) he envies my life. They and others seem to think I am better off in some way than they are.
This is puzzling because they have all the advantages society bestows on heterosexuals as far as acceptance is concerned. We are discriminated against, slandered by politicians and religious leaders, ridiculed by society in general and yet we are envied?
In recent years it has dawned on me – “Everyone is gay”. Those who lead the charge against us are simply deflecting suspicion away from themselves. I know you’ve heard this cliche before and it’s nothing new. My point is this: unless you have experienced the discrimination etc. first hand it’s hard to understand how pervasive it is. Those who are content to hide their desires and live the life expected of them will never know the freedom of revealing themselves.
Another group who compound this bias is women. I know that sounds misogynistic but that isn’t what I mean. Women have a vested interest in keeping men to themselves – their biological clocks force them to do it. Women are sometimes the worst with their ridicule. I’ve known some who are simply monsters. Men do not want to be seen as weak, effeminate creatures the way Gay men are stereotyped. They do not want to receive scorn from the women in their lives.
What women don’t understand is that their fathers, brothers, lovers, husbands – all men – have a gift. That gift is Love. Men have so much love to give they can’t be restricted to just one woman or even all women – they need to share their love with each other, too. It is this need to give and receive love that seperates us from women. I expect many who read this will disagree and possibly be angered by it. That is the bias I am talking about.
In the United States we have many national holidays.
Some are frivolous and some are not.
This is a list of our National Holidays for 2010:
In my opinion Memorial Day is the most appropriate one of them all. We should ALL observe this day with reverence and humility.
The military men and women who have given their lives in defense of our nation deserve to be honored above all others. They are often sent into harms way for the wrong reasons and yet they go. They are often given faulty or inadequate equipment to accomplish what ever mission is given to them and yet they go. They enter the combat zone knowing their very lives are in jeopardy and yet they go.
I have known so many who have served. I have known a few who never returned. From VietNam to the current wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and every deployment in between the list goes on. I am so proud of those who joined voluntarily or those who were conscripted.
I have never been a war monger, a “Hawk”. I have always been against killing. Unfortunately we live in a very dangerous world where men go to war with each other. I understand the need for a strong defense and I’m willing to support our military by whatever means necessary. The countless boys (and recently girls) who have worn the uniform of our armed forces and gone into battle without question or hesitation and have returned home in one piece or have been wounded or killed should be honored above all others.
I was just thinking of a close friend of mine in high school – Laren, Laren Hill. He was 18 and joined the army so he could go to VietNam. I never heard from him again. It seems like I think of him every Memorial Day. He was such a beautiful boy and so macho. I just wonder how many others will join him in the legions of our honored dead.